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Caspering Is a New Dating Trend That's Actually Worse Than Ghosting

At this point, ghosting — or ending a relationship by simply disappearing — is old news. Caspering, according to HelloGiggles, is now all the rage. It's a brand-new relationship trend in which someone ghosts you, but in a friendly way. Seriously. Let's go over this, shall we?

Rather than simply ignore your texts, the Casper will respond to your text 12 hours later with a vague but friendly reply. Instead of not replying to an invitation to hang out, the Casper will hint that they're interested, without any intention of following through. As HelloGiggles describes, Caspering is basically a cute word for leading someone on because you're, ironically, scared of being the bad guy who ghosts. Ironically, because by trying to avoid acting like an asshole, you're making life so much more difficult for everyone involved. There is nothing friendly about Caspering.

Ghosting, in this writer's opinion, is an incredibly cruel way to end a relationship. It assumes that the person you're seeing is either too obsessed with you or too weak to handle the fact that you're no longer interested in them. In reality, they are likely an adult who is completely capable of accepting when a romance is over and you're the weak one who doesn't want to lose their attention.

Direct communication can quickly end a relationship without leaving loose ends. When you ghost someone (in the original way), they have no idea what happened and may fret about your well-being, in addition to questioning their own sanity. However, as HelloGiggles points out, ghosting has become so commonplace that when someone drops off the face of the earth electronically, we know what's going on. This is not the case with Caspering.

By turning to Caspering rather than ghosting, you prolong the end of a relationship and add days or even weeks of confusion and mixed messages, all of which are detrimental to both parties. Mixed messages aren't cute; rather, they are a recipe for mental anguish. Are you not into the person you're starting to see, uninterested in a relationship, or don't see long-term potential? Act like a grown-up and not a Halloween costume and text, "Hey, I think you're great, but I'm just not seeing a future here, so I think it's time we go our separate ways. I wish you the best and truly thank you for the time we spent together."

A quick awkward text pulls off the Band-Aid and allows everyone to move on with their lives. Caspering is just a way for the ghosters of the world to feel better about themselves, even as they cause more harm than good. When it comes to dating, act like a human rather than a specter for the best interests of all parties.

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